Every now and then, I get the urge to put something pretty in the window box that hangs off of our apartment balcony. This summer I was determined to grow something that I wouldn’t kill right away. Summers in Texas are pretty hot and dry, so as I shopped, I read all of the labels and looked for something that liked sun. I picked Petunias because they were bright and cheery.
I took them home and planted them in the little box. Every time I walked by the window, their bright color caught my eye. At first, I checked on them and watered them every day. I thought I had finally gotten the hang of this gardening thing. But as time went by, I didn’t notice them as much. I began to neglect the flowers in the window box. I’d get busy and forget to water them. And then when I went out of town, I just forgot about them completely. No longer did the flowers catch my eye when I walked by the window. They were shriveled, dry, and brown. I felt like a failure again; I was ready to throw in the gardening gloves.
And then one day, late in the summer, we had a downpour of rain like we hadn’t seen in a while. Soon after, I walked out on the balcony and I saw my little flower box again. The flowers were still dried and shriveled, but in the midst of the deadness was one little green shoot-a reminder of the life that was once there. It gave me hope that that same life could be there again, so I began again. I pulled off the deadness and threw it away. And I began to water the flowers just as I had before. Sure there were days that I forgot, but there was a lot more rain falling in the late summer so they weren’t getting completely dried out. Finally a couple of weeks ago, I looked out and there was a flower. A few days later, there were two flowers, and then three.
Yes, it’s just a little box with three flowers, but it’s my little box with three flowers. My flowers that were once dry and dead are now beautiful and cheery again. They remind me of myself. There are a times in my life when my walk with God is thriving. There are days when I spend every day studying God’s word and journaling, walking through the day in prayer, meditating on scripture, and just feeling full of life. But there are other times, when I unintentionally neglect those spiritual disciplines because of busyness or circumstances of life. Then there are days when I just feel like a failure because of my neglect or sin. It’s on these days that I feel like I can’t go to God because there are too many dead weeds in my life.
But He has shown me that confession is like pulling off all of that deadness and throwing it away. It’s a step toward being renewed in Him. Spending time with Him in scripture study, prayer, and meditation is like pouring water on a dry soul. Yes there are days when I get busy or forget, but that doesn’t mean that I am a failure at the Christian life. God is faithful when we are faithless. And just like He sends the rain to water my flowers even when I forget, He continues to pursue me when I don’t pursue Him.
I may not have a green thumb and I may not be the most disciplined Christian, but I haven’t given up on gardening and God hasn’t given up on me.
